Monster M*A*S*H
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M*A*S*H episode
“Where There's a Will, There's a War”
Season 10, Episode # 16
Number (#235) in series (256 episodes)
Guest star(s) Dennis Howard
Larry Ward
Jim Borelli
James Emery
Jeff Maxwell
Kellye Nakahara
Brian Fudd
Ned Bellamy
Network: CBS-TV
Production code: 1G15
Writer(s) David Pollock and Elias Davis
Director Charles S. Dubin
Original airdate February 15, 1982
IMDb logo IMDB Where There's a Will, There's a War
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Where There's a Will, There's a War was the 16th episode of Season 10 of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, also the 235th overall series episode. Written by David Pollock and Elias Davis and directed by Alan Alda, it originally aired on February 22, 1982.

Synopsis

Fearing for his life at an aid station, Hawkeye writes his will with special bequests for his friends.

Full episode summary

A battalion aid surgeon is killed, so an emergency request for a temporary replacement surgeon is sent to the 4077th. Normally it would be B.J.'s turn, but since he is off in Seoul for an afternoon of R&R, Potter sends Hawkeye. Hawkeye arrives, and the situation is so grim that, in a rare moment of quiet, he decides to sit in a corner and write out his will.

In a series of flashbacks, and using a voiceover by Hawkeye, we see moments involving him and the other at the 4077th which relate to the items Hawkeye is bequeathing to them. Hawkeye starts off leaving everything to his father, with the exception of a few items. He starts with B.J., but at first can't think of what he wants to say. So he moves onto Winchester, recalling an instance of Hawkeye, B.J., Winchester, and Colonel Potter getting drunk in the Officers' Club, where the others managed to get a frilly tutu on the Major when he was passed out. Hawkeye notes that no matter what they put him through, Winchester never lost his dignity, so he leaves him his purple robe--purple being the color of royalty.

Hawkeye then leaves Father Mulcahy a nickel, a reference to the time Mulcahy got away with getting revenge on a careless General by ruining the General's elegant meal (which was holding up dinner for everyone else in the camp)--the General promising that Mulcahy's life wouldn't be worth "a plugged nickel" if he wasn't a priest.

He leaves Margaret his Groucho Marx nose and glasses, in honor of her all-too-hidden silly side, as he remembers a time they were up late together taking inventory in the Supply Room, and Margaret started cracking jokes, to Hawkeye's surprise and amusement. With Col. Potter, he recalls a conversation he had with him a week after Potter transferred to the 4077th during a brutal OR session when they talked about fishing. Hawkeye leaves him his father's copy of Last of the Mohicans.

To Klinger, he leaves his beloved Hawaiian shirt. We see a flashback about the time Klinger handed Hawkeye an issue of Life (August 4, 1952) that had a huge article and photoshoot on Maine, which delighted Hawkeye. Klinger, in a true act of generosity, traded a giant hunk of Lebanese salami for it, but didn't tell Hawkeye that.

When Hawkeye's relief arrives, one of the doctors at the aid station notices what he is writing and asks, "You finish your will?" To which Hawkeye asks, "How did you know it was my will?" The doctor solemnly replies, "I've seen a lot of those written here."

Hawkeye is allowed to go back home, and he arrives in the middle of the night. Coming back to the Swamp, he takes notice of the picture of B.J.'s family and gets an idea--he goes to Potter's office and composes a letter to Erin Hunnicutt, with a list of all the men her father worked on while in Korea, so she has some idea of why her father was away during her first years. Klinger pokes his head in, having noticed the light on in the office, and tells Hawkeye, "There's no paperwork that can't wait until tomorrow." Hawkeye replies, "I used to think that, too."

Guests/Recurring cast

  • Dennis Howard as Captain Rackley
  • Larry Ward as General Kratzer
  • Jim Borelli as the G.I.
  • Brian Fudd as G.I.
  • New Bellamy as G.I.
  • James Emery as Corpsman

Trivia/Fun Facts

  • The LIFE magazine Klinger gave Hawkeye was dated Aug 4, 1952. Winchester has already been in a battalion aide station in the Battle of Pork Chop Hill, which occurred from March-July 1953--a sign "M*A*S*H*" ends with the Korean War in July 1953. 
  • When Hawkeye finally returns to the 4077th, he looks at B.J.'s photo of his wife Peg and their daughter Erin--it shows Peg giving Erin a bath. This shot was taken from B.J.'s anniversary movie that Hawkeye had arranged for Peg to make for him ("Oh, How We Danced").  
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