Template:Infobox M*A*S*H episode V2
"The Late Captain Pierce" was the 77th episode of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H television series, and, also the fifth episode of the fourth season of the series. Written by brothers Glen and Les Charles, who would later go on to produce the ABC-TV sitcom Taxi, and directed by Alan Alda, it first aired on October 3, 1975.
Synopsis
Hawkeye finds out that due to clerical error, he has been declared dead.
Full episode summary
Klinger wakes BJ because he has a midnight caller: Hawkeye’s father. Hawkeye is told and accompanies them to the phone, but all BJ can hear is “How?” and “Why?” before the line gets knocked out. Baffled, Hawkeye waits the rest of the night for a return call, but none comes.
As Hawkeye leaves to take a shower, he runs into Lieutenant “Digger” Detmuller from morgue detail, who just arrived to retrieve a corpse. Detmuller asks Klinger where he can find Captain Pierce and the corporal tells him he’s in the showers. Confused, Digger confronts Hawkeye in the showers and tells him he’s been listed as dead by the Army. Digger shows Hawkeye a copy of his death certificate and notifies him the original would be sent to his next of kin. Hawkeye now understands why his father asked for BJ instead of him – he’s already been alerted his son is deceased. Hawkeye informs Potter, who has Klinger notify HQ of the screw-up, but all lines of communication are still frozen due to General Eisenhower’s Korean visit. BJ is told of the gaffe and decides to throw his friend a wake. As Hawkeye wonders what his father could be going through, BJ cheerfully tells him to cheer up, “you’re going to a funeral!”
Digger trolls the camp looking for a dead body to replace Hawkeye and is mildly upset when BJ’s patient survives his operation. His trouble is compounded when he sets his butt on fire at Hawkeye’s wake. Hawkeye has a chorus of “Fore He’s A Jolly Good Fellow” sung to him, but adds a macabre final line himself: “I was much too young to die.”
Being dead isn’t all bad – it gets Hawkeye out of orientation classes, O.D. duty, inspections, and Frank’s exercise program. One thing it doesn’t get him out of is debt – if he’s dead, he gets no pay. Frank, the pay officer, takes great glee in cackling to Hawkeye he’s been “redlined” meaning deceased and off the payroll. Frank refuses to give him a dime, causing Hawkeye to temporarily forget pacifism and attack the Major.
In a truly bizarre scene (unfortunately cut for syndication), Hawkeye goes ballistic trying to pry money from Frank’s tight grip and ends up dumping carrots down Frank’s shirt and smearing potatoes on his face before being dragged out of the tent. HQ sends Captain Pratt to explain the error and the incredibly complex way it will be fixed. Pratt’s cavalier attitude infuriates Hawkeye who says his father is mourning him and giving away his belongings. Hawkeye excuses himself, stating he is “late for an early grave” and goes to the Swamp to pack his belongings. Hawkeye boards Digger’s bus, passing himself off as cargo, just as Klinger tells BJ lots of wounded will arrive shortly.
BJ boards the bus and gently tells his friend he cannot go home. Hawkeye insists he does not care, but then hears the choppers arriving. He tells BJ the wounded have always poured in and always will, no matter who goes home (Trapper) or gets killed (Henry.) Hawkeye orders Digger to drive on, but changes his mind, making the bus come to a quick halt. A sullen Hawkeye emerges from the back door, gives it a hard slam shut, and trudges back to duty his mind will not let him forsake. After surgery, the phone lines are finally open and Hawkeye is able to tell his dad his is just fine.
Guest stars/Recurring cast
- Richard Masur as Lieutenant "Digger" Detweiler
- Sherry Steffens as Nurse Able
- Kellye Nakahara as Nurse Baker
- Eldon Quick as Captain Pratt
Trivia
- President Elect Dwight D. Eisenhower visited the troops in Korea in December 1952; if MASH had kept to the real Korean War Timeline, it would have only lasted for about 1 more season as the Korean Conflict ended in July 1953, 7 months after Eisenhower visited.
- A connunity error is Hawkeye father refered to as Mr. Pierce instead of Dr. Pierce.