Monster M*A*S*H
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Template:Infobox M*A*S*H episode V2"The Bus" was the 79th episode of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H television series, and, also the seventh episode of the fourth season of the series. Written by John D. Hess, and directed by Gene Reynolds, it first aired on October 17, 1975.

Synopsis

After their bus breaks down in the middle of nowhere on the way back from a medical convention, Hawkeye, B.J., Colonel Potter, Frank and Radar find themselves stranded.

Full episode summary

The doctors and Radar are returning from a medical conference when they get lost on the Korean country roads. They pull over to assess the situation and Potter orders each officer to travel 100 yards in different directions in search of a village or other roads. Frank cowardly takes Radar with him, making him walk ahead and act as a shield in case of enemy attack.

Nothing is seen, so they board the bus to backtrack and take a new road, but there’s one problem: the bus won’t start. To compound the problem, they have no food, water, blankets, communication and might be stranded in enemy territory. Frank takes a stab at fixing the engine but gets electrocuted for his trouble. Radar finds a walkie-talkie on the bus, but the other unit is broken and back at camp. Undeterred, Frank takes it and absurdly tries to contact “Allied personnel” that may be listening. His attempt to alert someone he is directly under a passing jet is met with laughter from the other doctors.

With dusk approaching, there is nothing to do but wait, so the five men bunk down on the bus. As Frank covertly munches a hidden chocolate bar, BJ decides they should tell stories about their first loves. Potter tells a WWI tale (naturally) about falling for a French nurse while blinded from poison gas; Radar declines, opting to leave to go to the bathroom; Frank relates a story of a brunette Jewish girl who was “warm for his form”, but Frank refused her advances on moral grounds (“Creep!”, growls Potter.)

Radar hasn’t returned from his potty break, and when the doctors hear noises outside the bus, they hope it is the corporal returning, but it turns out to be a wounded North Korean soldier surrendering to the medicos. His wound is patched and Frank stands guard over him while the others sleep. Waving the North Korean’s gun menacingly at him, Frank starts a movie gangster-type monologue to scare the wounded man, but the North Korean falls asleep.

Radar, who was out scouting a way out, finally returns in the middle of the night, waking Frank and happens on his cache of chocolate bars. Frank warns him not to say anything as the others warmly greet their missing comrade.

Next morning, the North Korean tinkers with the engine (Frank thinks he’s sabotaging it) and gets it running. As they drive off, a proposal is made that food should be stored on the bus. Radar makes a reference to chocolate bars and falling asleep on guard duty, needling Frank into “discovering” he has six chocolate bars in his knapsack and passing them out to his fellow riders.

Hawkeye and BJ get their revenge on Frank when they find the second walkie-talkie and have the North Korean speak into it, freaking Frank out entirely. Frank thinks he is eavesdropping on enemy secrets and starts shouting pro-American trash talk as the captains break into hysterics.

Guest stars/Recurring cast

Notes

Col. Potter reveals some biographical info about himself, during this episode: During WWI combat: At Battle of Château-Thierry {July 1918}, he was mustard gassed, leaving him blind for a month afterward, in a French hospital, where his (first) love was bestowed upon a nurse named Colette, whose voice he heard daily while his eyes were bandaged. In the Meuse Argonne Forest {Sept-Nov 1918}, he was "lost for 3 days, taken prisoner, head shaved and beaten to a pulp". However Potter's stories are unbelievable -as he served in the 1st Cavalry-if the Regiment is ment it served on the Mexican Border-but didn't go overseas; if the Division is ment -that didn't exist until 1921!

The gun Burns has is a german World War II Scheimesser MP 40; submachine guns used in the Korean War were either the US .45 Thompson or the Chinese "Burp" gun.

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