|Rear Admiral Cox|
Admiral Cox can't believe he came all the way to the 4077th just for the word "vontz".
|Rank:||Rear Admiral (O-8), U.S. Navy|
|Job/Role in Unit:||U.S. Navy senior doctor who comes to the 4077th with Lieutenant Tippy Brooks when they misunderstand Hawkeye's call for help|
|First appeared in:||"38 Across" (Season 5)|
|Last appeared in:||N.A. Single appearance|
|Appeared on/or in:||M*A*S*H|
|Played by:||Dick O'Neill|
About Admiral CoxEdit
Cox is visiting on board the aircraft carrier U.S.S. Essex when Lieutenant Tippy Brooks, who is a surgeon on board, receives a message that Hawkeye badly needs help. Although Hawkeye only wants Brooks to help with a crossword puzzle, they misunderstand the cyptic message and assume there is a medical emergency at the 4077th and so they dash off to help.
Cox and Brooks have a hard time on their journey--their chopper is forced down, they have to ride in a cattle train which then gets shelled, and then they have to walk ten miles before being picked up by a jeep. They arrive in the middle of the night hungry and tired but expecting to find a medical emergency.
Tippy Brooks is in a panic because he finds out from Hawkeye that it has all been a misunderstanding--all Hawkeye wanted was some help with a crossword. Brooks is terrified that Cox will kill him so the doctors decide to fake some complications in Post-Op.
But, as Brooks says, Cox can see right through a bulkhead, so he sees through all the faked complications and is annoyed that there is no emergency. He angrily tells Potter that he is going to demand a full investigation. Just as he is preparing to leave, a large truckload of injured Korean villagers arrive, all badly burned. The MASH springs into action and Cox and Brooks pitch in to help.
Seven hours of surgery later, Cox concludes that the MASH folks "work too hard". Relaxing with egyptian sauerkraut in the mess tent later, Cox and the rest hear a broadcast by Seoul City Sue claiming that Hawkeye performed inhumane experiments on a wounded Chinese soldier Soo Ling and that therefore Hawkeye has now been declared a war criminal. Cox is upset with these lies and suggests that they should counter with some of their own propaganda--such as saying that the wounded villagers was the result of enemy fire bombing. But Hawkeye disagrees, saying, "They lie and then we lie. Where does it end?" Cox admits that Hawkeye is right even though the injustice of it upsets him.
The next day, as Cox and Brooks prepare to leave, he asks Potter why they were summoned to the MASH when there was obviously no emergency. Hawkeye tells him it was all a misunderstanding. Actually all he wanted is help with a crossword clue: a 5-letter Yiddish word for bedbug. Cox is incredulous: "You dragged us all the way up here just to get the word "vontz"?"