Captain Sloan, who represents Army HQ, visits camp to collect back the back pay that the Army paid Hawkeye, as he greets Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy in the "Back Pay" episode.
| Season 3, Episode # 22 |
Number (#70) in series (256 episodes)
|Guest star(s)||Eldon Quick |
|Writer(s)||John W. Reiger & Gary Markowitz|
|Original airdate||March 4, 1975|
|← Previous||Next →|
|"Big Mac" (B‑313)||"White Gold" (B‑319)|
|"Iron Guts Kelly" (B‑304)||"O.R." (B‑306)|
Payday arrives, bringing lots of big trouble for Hawkeye (for claiming he wasn't getting what he should because of the war), when Captain Sloan from HQ arrives on behalf of the US Army, demanding the back pay (about $3,000) back. Burns buys his wife a pearl necklace, and a set of fakes intending to give them to Houlihan. Overhearing his plan, Houlihan tricks him into switching the strands. Trapper finally wins a huge poker pot after stealing Hawkeye's watch, only to see the loot vanish to save Hawkeye's neck (since he gave his windfall to the orphanage).
Full episode summaryEdit
The eagle screams today, for it’s pay day at the 4077th and Hawkeye, as pay officer, is the “genial host.” Before the pay is doled out, Radar reads Hawkeye a long list of instructions, ending with the pay officer being wholly responsible for an overage or underage of funds. Radar provides the officers their pay and Hawkeye finishes the enlisted with $10 left over. Radar asks for his help filling out the form to return the $10, but instead Hawkeye wants the Army to know he’s lost $3,000 from his civilian practice.
Pay day usually results in poker games and a big one breaks out in the supply building with Trapper, Zale, Igor, Lieutenant Nelson (Pat Marshall) and others in attendance. Trapper is quickly down $500 and Zale helpfully suggests reenlisting to get the bonus. Quoc (Jack Soo), a local merchant, visits Frank at the Swamp to entice him with his wares. A string of pearls interests the Major, who pays Quoc $500 for the strand plus gets a free imitation set thrown in by Quoc for that “someone on the side.” Quoc then visits Margaret in her tent. She, too, is interested in the cheap pearls, but Quoc says he can have another strand in an hour, for another Major bought his last one plus a “$500 job for his wife.”
After receiving a delivery from HQ, Radar presents Hawkeye with an envelope with the “three thousand dollars you asked for.” He wrote down everything Hawkeye told him about lost wages, submitted a form, and the Army actually paid the $3,000 – and returns the extra $10. Hawkeye, incredulous, refuses the money, but Radar intimates he should just keep it.
Frank presents Margaret with the pearls he bought for her, passing them off as a purchase from a jewelry store at the Chosun Hotel in Seoul. Margaret tells him real pearls feel rough across the teeth and this strand is the real thing. Frank is in panic mode as Margaret hugs him for being so extravagant. Hawkeye gives the $3,010 to Father Mulcahy and asks him to give it to Sister Theresa’s orphanage. Mulcahy is flabbergasted to receive so large a donation and tells Hawkeye he should be a saint.
Frank follows Margaret to the showers in hopes of getting his pearls back. She is proudly wearing them, but lets it be known she will take them off before showering. As Frank surreptitiously switches the strands, Captain Sloan (of “The Incubator” fame) makes a return visit, seeking the three thousand dollars. Meanwhile, Trapper is out a lot of money at poker. He tries to hit up Frank and Hawkeye for a loan, but gets rejected. Trapper feigns defeat and announces he’ll just have to fold his hand as he sneaks Hawkeye’s watch into his pocket.
Sloan tracks down Hawkeye and tells him he is “$3,000 deep in trouble.” Sloan demands the money be returned, and once he learns Father Mulcahy gave the money to the orphanage (in the middle of the night?), tells the padre he’ll be preaching in the stockade. Sloan goes to tell Henry, who is now part of the poker game, he is arresting Hawkeye.
Trapper is on a hot streak thanks to the theft of Hawkeye’s watch. Once Hawkeye learns Trapper’s huge win – coincidentally $3,008 – is on account of his watch, he snatches the winnings and gives it all to Sloan to avoid imprisonment. Sloan returns the extra $8, which Hawkeye quickly claims as a watch rental fee.
Guest stars/Recurring castEdit
- Jack Soo as Quoc
- Jamie Farr as Klinger
- Eldon Quick as Captain Sloan
- William Christopher as Father Mulcahy
- Pat Marshall as Lieutenant Nelson
- Bobbie Mitchell as Nurse Baker
- Jeff Maxwell as Igor Straminsky
- Johnny Haymer as Sergeant Zelmo Zale
- Mary Peters as Nurse (uncredited - unconfirmed)
- Frank Daily as Private Frank Daily (uncredited)
Klinger reports his service number as 362436. This is the so called "golden ratio" when judging a womans body. 36 inch bust, 24 inch waist, and a 36 inch hip.