M*A*S*H - A List of Recycled Jokes

Over the course of 250+ M*A*S*H episodes, there were a handful of jokes that appeared in more than one episode. To clarify, I do not mean instances such as Col. Potter saying some variant of "Horse hockey"; that's not a joke, but rather a purposeful character idiosyncrasy. I am instead talking about a distinct turn of phrase, or a set-up and punchline, or witticism that appeared in more than one script. How and/or why these instances occurred, I'll leave up to the reader, but I'll quote Larry Gelbart devotee Aaron Sorkin in commenting on his own repetition: "I have an unfortunate confluence of limited talent and very bad memory."

So, here is a list (incomplete I'm sure) of 'jokes' that were used in more than one episode:

1. "You look like an ad for death." from GERM WARFARE (season 1 - by Larry Gelbart), and from CARRY ON HAWKEYE (season 2 - by Larry Gelbart, Laurence Marks, and Bernard Dilbert).
2. PA Announcement: "The following people have volunteered to go on today's 10-mile physical fitness hike. [long silence ensues before music resumes playing]" from DEAR DAD (season 1 - by Larry Gelbart). The same setup and joke appears in very slightly altered form from THE TRIAL OF HENRY BLAKE (season 2 - by McLean Stevenson). In the latter episode the line read: "The following people have volunteered to go on a 10-mile hike."
3. "You guys should be sentenced to life in front of a firing squad." from MAJOR FRED C. DOBBS (season 1 by Sheldon Keller), and from THE TRIAL OF HENRY BLAKE (season 2 - McLean Stevenson) where the line read: "Yeah, get me life in front of a firing squad."
4. "Frank, if I could yawn with my mouth closed, you'd have no idea how boring you really are." From HAWKEYE ON THE DOUBLE, (an unproduced script by Stanley Ralph Ross dated 11/3/1972 found in the Larry Gelbart archives at UCLA). And from PAYDAY (season 3 - by John Regier and Gary Markowitz). [Note, this technically would not count because HAWKEYE ON THE DOUBLE was only a spec script. I only include this because it is a letter-for-letter wording in both cases. I'm confident in saying that Larry Gelbart or Gene Reynolds must have repurposed the joke. Regier and Markowitz would not have had likely access to a two-year-old spec script and it's hard to imagine they accidentally stumbled upon a joke in such an exact manner.]
5. "Henry was never very good with his hands; I guess that's why he became a doctor." from THE ARMY-NAVY GAME (season 1 - Sid Dorfman) and from DEAR DAD THREE (season 2 - by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks). In this latter episode, the joke was altered: Henry: "I was never very good with my hands, Radar. " Radar: "I guess that's why you became a doctor, sir."
6. "...The least objectionable of which is staying here with you idiots, in this upholstered men's room." from CHECK UP (season 3 - by Laurence Marks). The joke appeared in altered form in AID STATION (season 3 - by Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner) as "I never thought I'd be happy to see that upholstered toilet again". In this case there is arguably a third appearance, in STICKY WICKET (season 1 - by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks): "This place is an upholstered cesspool."
7. Henry: "These are Captains McIntyre and..." Hawkeye (interrupting): ...and these are Captains Pierce." from THE INCUBATOR (season 2 - by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks), and from HENRY IN LOVE (season 3 - by Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks).
8. "They know what causes that [pregnancy] these days." from SHOWTIME (season 1 - by Larry Gelbart and Robert Klane), and from HAWKEYE (season 4 by Larry Gelbart) in slightly altered form, "...and we know what causes that [pregnancy] these days, too."
9. "They're has-beans." from IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (season 4 - Larry Gelbart and Simon Muntner), and from THE JOKER IS WILD (season 11 - by Dennis Koenig), in altered form: "These beans are so old they're has-beans."
10. Trapper: "Would you like some tonic?" [then manually shakes his cheeks to create the sound of tonic splashing in his hands] from L.I.P. (season 2 - Carl Kleinschmitt, Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks), and from BOMBED (season 3 - Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum). In this latter example Hawkeye is the one who does the joke, not Trapper.
11. "I got enough nausea to light up the city of Toledo" from CARRY ON HAWKEYE (season 2 - by Larry Gelbart, Laurence Marks and Bernard Dilbert), and from CHECK UP (season 3 - by Laurence Marks), in slightly reworded form: "I got heartburn that would light up the city of Toledo".
12. "Major Burns wouldn't give a drowning man a glass of water." from THE PRICE OF TOMATO JUICE (season 4 - Larry Gelbart and Gene Reynolds), and GIVE AND TAKE (season 11 - Dennis Koenig), reworded: "He's the kind of person who'd give a drowning man a glass of water."
13. "Some men are born to greatness, while others have garbage thrust upon them." from SOME 38th PARALLELS (season 4 - John Regier and Gary Markowitz), and from THE LIFE YOU SAVE (season 9 - John Rappaport and Alan Alda) "Some men are born to garbage, while others have garbage thrust upon them."
14. "When did this line start using stewardesses?" from WAR CO-RESPONDENT (from Season 8 - Mike Farrell) and from THAT'S SHOW BIZ - Part 1 (season 10 - David Pollock and Elias Davis) worded: "Since when did they put stewardesses on this run?"
15. Frank: "Gripe gripe gripe..." Hawkeye [singing]: "....the boys are marching!" from CRISIS (season 2 - Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks), and from O.R. (season 3 - Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks). In this latter instance Frank says "Sex sex sex..." before Hawkeye sings the refrain. This joke is a send up of the famous Civil War marching song "Tramp Tramp Tramp the Boys Are Marching".
16. "You like Chinese food? You like walking in the rain? How about eating Chinese food in the rain?" from PAYDAY (season 3 - John Regier and Gary Markowitz), and from OF MOOSE AND MEN (season 4 - Jay Folb). The latter example was "Do you like walks in the rain? Do you like Chinese food? You could ahve been my wife."