|Nurse Edwina "Eddie" Ferguson|
Arlene Golonka as Nurse Edwina Ferguson
|Job/Role in Unit:||Nurse at the 4077th M*A*S*H|
|First appeared in:||"Edwina" (Season 1)|
|Last appeared in:||N/A, one-time appearance|
|Appeared on/or in:||M*A*S*H|
|Played by:||Arlene Golonka|
About Nurse "Eddie"Edit
At Edwina Ferguson's surprise birthday party, she gets a can of brass polish, the Ten Commandments in a frame, and a bulletproof girdle. Henry attempts to give a speech, but is interrupted when everybody sings "For she's a jolly good fellow", causing her to break into tears.
She explains to Nurse Margie that she was neither jolly, nor a fellow - for she has had "never had anyone to care for her", meaning, she hasn't been with a man. Even the person she was supposedly engaged to, a Seymour Chomkey, only wrote to her once through the war. Since she now is close to getting discharge, there is now little hope for "true love".
Cutler expresses this concern to Hawkeye, who attempts to molest her and gives some unhelpful advice. He also claims that Edwina is a "landmine in bloomers", due to her clumsiness and unpopularity, which is why nobody would date her. When he and Trapper gather the men in the camp together (even a disinterested Frank Burns) to draw straws as to whom was going to de-flower her, Hawkeye winds up drawing the short straw.
On their date in the swamp, everything goes wrong, as Nurse Eddie's clumsiness seems to take over; they take off their Japanese shoes, and several accidents take place. Edwina accidentally splashes a martini in her partner's face. She considers leaving and pretending that she had a great time, but not before knocking Hawkeye in the eye, knocking Hawkeye so that he sits on the furnace in the center of the tent, and smashing a set of martini glasses on the ground which cuts Hawkeye's bare feet, who in turns knocks down some shelving which drops on top of him! Nevertheless, they manage to share a kiss, and a laugh, when Edwina knocks down the chimney furnace, covering Hawkeye with soot.