Hawkeye, placed under arrest for punching Frank, under MP watch, crosses paths with Radar on the way to "the swamp" in "House Arrest".
| Season 3, Episode # 17 |
Number (#65) in series (256 episodes)
|Guest star(s)||Jamie Farr|
|Writer(s)||Jim Fritzell & Everett Greenbaum|
|Original airdate||February 4, 1975|
|← Previous||Next →|
| "The Consultant" (B318)|
| "Aid Station" (B322)|
Frank Burns has Hawkeye placed under house arrest after Hawkeye punches him in the hospital change room. It takes Frank being falsely accused of rape by a visiting female Colonel to get the charges dropped, and Frank placed under house arrest.
Full episode summaryEdit
Hot Lips is making a lot of mistakes in O.R., which is unusual. Turns out she's nervous about the impending arrival of a Col. Reece, a highly-decorated nurse.
When Hawkeye dismisses Hot Lips after one too many mistakes, she is furious. She berates Hawkeye in the scrub room, but after he insinuates she got where she is by sleeping around, Hot Lips demands Frank defend her honor. Frank's idea of that is to snap a towel at Hawkeye's butt, leading to Hawkeye belting Frank right in the eye!
Frank wants Hawkeye to face a court-martial, but Henry tries to talk him out of it. Radar informs them while the accused officer is investigated, he is to be under house arrest. Hawkeye is not allowed to leave the Swamp and is thrilled at the idea. Colonel Reese arrives and Margaret shows her to her tent, for they will be bunking together. Reese meets Frank, who is waiting in Margaret’s tent and sporting a terrific shiner. Reese guesses correctly Frank is unhappy in marriage and fooling around with Margaret.
Meanwhile, Trapper tells Henry what he witnessed in the scrub room, concocting a story of Frank slipping on a bar of soap and hitting his face on the sink. Whammo! Henry goes along with the lie and has Radar write it up.
Hawkeye is enjoying his house arrest, even thanking Frank for slipping on a bar of soap and blaming him for his injury. Trapper delivers Hawkeye’s dinner: a water buffalo steak, compliments of the Mess Sergeant as a reward for decking Frank. Father Mulcahy delivers a POW package, and when he mentions tonight’s movie stars Gene Tierney, Hawkeye asks him to intervene so he doesn’t miss it. Mulcahy comes through, for the Swamp hosts over 50 people for a special screening of Leave Her To Heaven. Radar receives a highly-anticipated package in the mail – elevated shoes! He tries them on and feels like a “real person.” Frank arrives looking for Henry and is baffled by Radar’s change in appearance. He can’t quite figure it out (thinks his glasses are new), but Hawkeye immediately notices Radar is three inches taller, and gently advises he get rid of the shoes.
Frank goes to Margaret’s tent during the movie but finds only Colonel Reese, alone and wearing just her robe. Reese starts massaging Frank’s shoulders as he talks about the stresses in his life. She brings up his unhappy marriage, softens him up with blackberry brandy, and insinuates that, with her help, Frank could be a Colonel, serving at Walter Reed hospital in Washington, D.C. Flush with passion, she kisses Frank on the lips just as Margaret walks in.
Reese, caught in the act, hollers rape, causing the whole movie audience to congregate outside Margaret’s tent. She wants charges filed, but Hawkeye protests he does not want to share his house arrest with anybody. A jealous Margaret declares Hawkeye to be innocent, because after all, Frank hit his face after slipping on a bar of soap!
Frank is now under house arrest and is delivered a meal of C-rations by Radar, newly reduced in height. As Frank wonders how he will explain this to his wife, Hawkeye suggests he tell her he was “waiting for his mistress and got impatient and attacked another woman.”
- Mary Wickes as Colonel Reese
- Jamie Farr as Klinger
- William Christopher as Father Francis Mulcahy
- Bobbie Mitchell as Nurse Baker
- Jeff Maxwell as Igor Straminsky
- Dennis Troy as M.P.
- Kellye Nakahara as Lieutenant Kellye Yamato
The phoniness of MASH- a rape charge is a very serious and court martial offense in the Military-although in another episode when Colonel Baldwin tries to rape Major Houlihan the subject is also treated lightly.
Hawkeye makes a pass that the patient he is working on has a "gut full of shrapnel from a claymore." This is obviously an anacronism because claymore mines weren't introduced until 1960, a full 7 years after this episode takes place.