None Like It Hot, was the seventh episode of Season 7 of M*A*S*H, also the 154th overall series episode. The episode, which was written by Ken Levine, David Isaacs & Johnny Bonaduce, was directed by Tony Mordente. The episode originally aired on CBS-TV on October 23, 1978.
Synopsis[]
A bath tub Hawkeye and B.J. purchase during a heat wave instantly becomes the ultimate hot spot.
Full episode summary[]
A killer heat wave is driving everyone at the 4077th crazy. Except for Klinger, who is using the heat as the basis for his newest Section 8 scam: he's wrapped himself in thick clothes and a fur, trying to prove to Col. Potter that he's nuts.
Hawkeye and B.J. are also handling it well, because of the delivery of a canvas bath tub from Abercrombie & Fitch. Being the only relief from the heat, they are desperate to use it as much as possible. They are equally desperate to keep the tub's existence from the rest of the camp, knowing everyone would want to use it.
Winchester works his way into the deal by threatening to tell everyone else about it, and Hawkeye and B.J. give in. Later, they are dismayed when they find out that Winchester has included Margaret into the deal as well, when she agrees to let him use her bubble bath. Father Mulcahy also gets in on it when he stumbles across Hawkeye using it in the scrub room.
They manage to keep the secret for a while, until Hawkeye offers its use to Radar, who is suffering from tonsillitis and has a fever. Some nurses overhear the conversation, and while Radar is enjoying a bath, they all come in splashing the water on themselves, to Radar's horror and embarrassment.
Now that the tub is company property, it becomes, as Potter says, a "wet elephant" - the long lines to use it cause arguments among the staff.
The only happy member of the camp is Klinger, who Potter says he will grant a Section 8 if he can stand 24 hours in the skintight rubber suit he ordered from home. Klinger is thrilled - in just one day, he'll be a free man.
After a fist fight breaks out over use of the tub, Potter demands the tub be closed down and shipped out, in any way possible. Hawkeye and B.J. trade with a Sgt. Rhoden, who calls himself The Scrounger.
At first they plan to trade it for some vintage scotch, but after seeing how miserable Radar is after his tonsillectomy, they drive a hard bargain and get 10 gallons of strawberry ice cream (in addition to the scotch). Potter is thrilled with his two doctors - "Hot diggity! I'm proud of you! That was not only obedient, but damn nice."
Just before the tub is removed, Klinger breaks down and simply can't stand the heat anymore. He rips off his heavy clothes, and jumps into the tub - unaware that Margaret is in it. Potter incredulously quips, "Aw, it's a crying shame. He only had an hour to go."
Later, The Scrounger delivers the ice cream, and it's wheeled into Post Op for Radar, who is touched at the gesture. A few seconds later, everyone else in camp storms in, demanding some ice cream, too. Radar kindly agrees to share it, and Klinger makes nice with Margaret by delivering some to her tent as a peace offering, which she accepts. Before he leaves, he also asks if she's doing anything that Saturday night, much to her horror.
Research notes/Fun facts[]
- Ted Gehring had appeared as a bureaucratic supply officer in "The Incubator" (Season 1), but with a different name and rank.
- The title is a spoof of the movie Some Like It Hot.
- In the queue for the bath, Margaret uses as a bathrobe the gown with Chinese motifs which Lieutenant Dish wore at the party in the pilot episode.
- When Klinger jumps into the tub with Margaret, she runs out wrapped in a towel, but flees straight into the mess tent instead of her own tent, which is nearby. She was probably too frantic to know where she was going.
- It is never explained why, if it was so hot, so many of the MASH staff were dressed in layers (for example, Hawkeye brings Radar his ice cream wearing his bathrobe, even though he's obviously fully dressed underneath it).
- After Sgt. Zale and the other soldier fight over who was next in line for the tub, Col. Potter orders Hawkeye and B.J. to get rid of it, and the line disperses (while Winchester enjoys the tub all to himself). Later, when Sgt. Rhoden comes back again to deal for the tub, the line has re-formed, with Major Houlihan in the tub (and Igor standing guard again), as if the previous incident never took place.
- Colonel Potter refers to the tub as a "wet elephant." This is a play on the term "white elephant", meaning an item of great value but little practical use that you can't seem to get rid of.
Guest stars/Recurring cast[]
- Ted Gehring as Sergeant Rhoden
- Johnny Haymer as Sergeant Zelmo Zale
- Jeff Maxwell as Igor Straminsky
- Jan Jorden as Nurse Baker
- Kellye Nakahara as Nurse Kellye
- Mic Rodgers as Private
- Uncredited appearances:
- Laurie Bates (see Lieutenant Laurie),
- Shari Saba (see Nurse Shari - probably her earliest appearance)
- Jennifer Davis
- Dennis Troy
- Roy Goldman
Gallery[]
