Cpt. Bernie Futterman
Futterman-want of a boot
Cpt. Futterman in "For Want of a Boot" in Season 2 of the M*A*S*H TV series.
M*A*S*H character
Vital information
Rank: Captain (0-3), U.S. Army
Job/Role in Unit: Dentist at the 4077th M*A*S*H
Home: East Orange, N.J., U.S.
Hair Color: Dark brown
Eye Color: Dark brown
Height: ????
Weight: ????
Family/Personal Information
Born: ????
Birthplace: same as home
Nationality/Race: American/Caucasian
Spouse(s): Single
Relatives/Children: Not mentioned
First appeared in: "For Want of a Boot" (Season 2)
Last appeared in: N/A, one time appearance
Appeared on/or in: M*A*S*H
Played by: Michael Lerner

Captain Bernie Futterman was a dentist who made a one time appearance in the Season 2 episode of M*A*S*H titled "For Want of a Boot". The part of Cpt. Futterman was played in the episode by Michael Lerner.

About Captain FuttermanEdit

Captain Futterman is enchanted by all things Japanese. He is always wearing a Japanese style yukata and his tent is decorated with Japanese ornaments. He says he loves "that land, from the top of Fujiyama to the bottom of its sea, where even right now chubby half-naked diving girls are irritating oysters to produce pearls." He believes he was born Japanese and only kidnapped and brought to East Orange by a dentist and his barren wife. All his life is a prologue to his final destiny which is to be an underwater dentist at an all night bathhouse. When Hawkeye first enters the dental tent in "For Want of a Boot", he greets Futterman in Japanese style with "konnichiwa, Dr. Futterman-san."

Hawkeye needs a favor from Futterman. Hawkeye has a big hole in his boot but Zale, the Supply Sergeant, will only get him one if some dental bridgework can be arranged for him. Hawkeye and Trapper approach Futterman but he refuses, saying that it is a cosmetic procedure. After much persuasion, Futterman relents, but only if he can get a three day pass to Japan. He says he wants to visit a Shinto shrine, watch a kabuki and even spend an evening with a girl he can think about in years to come when his wife is talking to him.

Hawkeye and Trapper agree to the deal, but as things turn out, the chain of favors breaks further along the line so Futterman doesn't get his pass, Zale doesn't get his bridgework and Hawkeye ends the episode trying to wear a golf bag.

The closing credits bills the character as "Captain Futterman" but Hawkeye calls him "Bernie" a few time, thus establishing his first name.

Futterman2-want of a boot

Futterman treating Klinger in the dental tent. Note the Japanese decorations.

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