Hawkeye, Trapper, Klinger, Henry and Radar all await the ribs, which Hawk ordered from Adam's Ribs, a Chicago restaurant, and which the mess cook prepared in "Adam's Ribs" in Season 3.
| Season 3, Episode # 11 |
Number (#59) in series (256 episodes)
|Guest star(s)||Jeff Maxwell|
|Original airdate||November 26, 1974|
|← Previous||Next →|
| "There Is Nothing Like a Nurse" (B309)|
| "A Full Rich Day" (B311)|
Adam's Ribs was the 11th episode of Season 3 of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, also the 58th overall series episode. Written by Laurence Marks, and directed by Gene Reynolds, it first aired on November 26, 1974.
Sick and tired of being served the same meal (fish or liver and onions) for about a week, Hawkeye throws a fit and hatches a plan to get some ribs and barbecue sauce shipped in from a restaurant in Chicago.
Full episode summaryEdit
It’s the twelfth straight day the kitchen has served liver and fish for lunch. Everyone is sick of the same two choices, especially Hawkeye who explodes in rage, hurls his lunch across the mess tent, and leads a chant demanding another choice of food.
Henry bawls out Hawkeye, but when he makes an off-the-cuff remark about a rib-tickler, a light bulb goes off in Hawkeye’s head. He’s suddenly reminded of some delicious barbecued spareribs he enjoyed in Chicago near the Dearborn Street station. Hawkeye can’t remember the restaurant’s name, so Henry gives him the phone number to Dearborn Street station and says call them to find out. Henry still remembers their telephone number because he spent “half his life” there and (supposedly) where he met Lorraine.
Later that night, Radar gets a call placed for Hawkeye to Chicago. Hawkeye poses as a report for the Chicago Tribune getting background information for a story and determines the restaurant is called Adam’s Ribs. The station transfers him to the restaurant, where Hawkeye places an order for 40 pounds of ribs and a gallon of sauce. His elation is short-lived, however, when he realizes he forgot to order the coleslaw.
Hawkeye works out the logistics of getting the ribs flown from Chicago to South Korea, but needs someone in Chicago to pick up the ribs, pay for them, and deliver to the airport. Hawkeye learns Klinger has an uncle in Chicago, but the corporal refuses to help unless he gets his discharge papers signed.
Trapper comes to the rescue by remembering a one-night-stand named Mildred Feeney who lives in Chicago. A telephone call is quickly placed and “Big John” talks Mildred into delivering the ribs to the airport under the cover of urgent medical supplies.
A few days later, the ribs arrive in South Korea, but they’re hung up in channels at a supply depot in Ouijongbu. Hawkeye and Trapper quickly travel there where they encounter an uncooperative Major Pfiefer, who is willing to let the captains move cartons for him but won’t track down their package.
He sends them to Sergeant Tarola, who refuses to release the package because no requisition orders were cut. The captains resort to threatening to shut down Tarola’s depot under the guise of unsanitary conditions. Fearing reassignment, Tarola caves, asks what the package really is, and Hawkeye admits they are ribs from Chicago. Tarola correctly guesses they are from Adam’s Ribs and takes 10 pounds and a pint of sauce as his cut, but is astonished Hawkeye forgot the coleslaw.
The ribs are cooked and delivered to a waiting Henry, Hawkeye, Trapper, Klinger, and Radar, but wounded arrive before they can take a bite. Hawkeye is forcibly taken from the mess tent, leaving his ambrosia for another day.
Trapper: He's one of YOU
Hawkeye: (After hearing the main dish is liver and/or fish for the umpteenth day in a row): I didn't hear you say that. Because it isn't possible. It's inhuman to serve the same food day after day. The Geneva convention prohibits the killing of our taste buds! I simply can not eat the same food day after day. Fish! Liver! Day after day! I've eaten a river of liver, and an ocean of fish! I've eaten so much fish, I'm ready to grow gills! I've eaten so much liver I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions! (to the rest of the mess tent) Are we going to stand for this?! Are we going to let them do this to us?! NO, I say NO! We're not going to eat this dreck anymore! (Throws his tray of food across the tent) WE WANT SOMETHING ELSE! WE WANT SOMETHING ELSE! WE WANT SOMETHING ELSE! (The rest of the mess tent joins in the chant) Draftees of the world, arise! You have nothing to lose but your cookies! We want something else!