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"Fast Freddie" Nichols
Klinger and Freddie
Klinger performs with "Fast Freddie" for the wounded in Post-Op in the episode "That's Show Biz" in Season 10.
M*A*S*H character
Vital information
Rank: N/A - Civilian
Job/Role in Unit: USO troop peformer/comedian whose troop is forced to stay at the camp when they get caught in the midst of artillery fire at another camp
Hair Color: Black, Greying
Eye Color: Blue
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 170 lbs.
Family/Personal Information
Born: ????
Birthplace: New Jersey
Nationality/Race: American/Caucasian
Spouse(s): None/Single
Relatives/Children: ????
Appearances
First appeared in: "That's Show Biz, Parts 1 and 2"
Last appeared in: N/A, one time appearance
Appeared on/or in: M*A*S*H
Played by: Danny Dayton in Guest apperance
 

"Fast" Freddie Nichols is a character who appears in the first two episodes of Season 10 of the CBS-TV series M*A*S*H, the two-part episode arc titled "That's Show Biz". The part of "Fast Freddie" is played in the episodes by Danny Dayton.

About Fast FreddieEdit

When a USO troop gets caught in the middle of an artillery barrage, one of them, a young girl named Marina (Gail Edwards) has a ruptured appendix. She's taken by chopper to the 4077th, where Hawkeye literally sweeps her off her feet, carrying her to a jeep.

The rest of the troop arrives in camp to catch up with Marina--a comedian named Fast Freddie (Dayton), two musicians named Sarah (Karen Miller) and Ellie (Amanda McBroom), and a stripper, Brandy Doyle (Gwen Verdon). They ask if they can stick around and do a show, but Freddie says they're on a tight schedule and have to move on. But, after some prodding, Freddie agrees. Freddie is an awful, hackneyed comedian, but for some reason Winchester, as he strangely admits, inexplicably finds him hysterical, much to his enduring embarrassment!

After putting on a show, the troop packs up to leave, but heavy artillery in the nearby area closes off all the roads, forcing them to stay at the 4077th a little longer. Everyone is happy at the news, except for Hawkeye and B.J., who are driven out of the Swamp in the middle of the night, unable to sleep due to the hysterical cackling of Winchester and Klinger over Fast Freddie's jokes!

When the USO troup performs for the wounded in Post Op, Klinger is enlisted by Freddie to be the straight man in his routine -- but he flubs his lines miserably, even stealing the punchline of one joke, "Doctor, I have a problem with my arm; it hurts when I move it like this.. what do you suggest?", he's supposed to say to Freddie, who plays the doctor; When Freddie tries to feed him the line he's supposed to say, he responds with Freddie's line "Then don't move it like that!"

The next day, as the troop packs up and departs, Klinger finds himself barred from the Swamp, on account of his performance of the bad Fast Freddie-inspired jokes.

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